I am one of the stiffest yogis you will ever meet.

Stiff in body and mind, on a journey to flexibility.

I have been practicing yoga for well over a decade, including almost daily for the past year.  The desire to improve lifelong inflexibility, the appeal of physical challenge, and the stress of a finance job led me to seek relief in yoga. I even became a RYT200 certified yoga teacher in February 2016. Still, there are many poses I cannot come close to getting into, and the ones I can, I don’t look anything like the bendy yogis you would see on Instagram.

Despite my unyielding stiffness, I love yoga more than ever. Physically, it restores balance and keeps me fit and healthy. But more important is the psychological impact, providing insight into who I really am (by observing my mind and how I react to poses) and bringing out peace and gratitude that often get overshadowed by a louder cousin named stress (by reminding me of all the things I already have). It gives me broader perspectives and clarity and teaches me to focus on the present instead of brooding over the past or worrying about the future.

I was born and raised in Japan, where things like order and harmony among groups are valued above individuality and risk taking, and life-for-employment model still prevails. As a daughter of a typical Japanese salaryman, I moved with my family every few years, having to switch schools each time. Shortly after starting high school, my family underwent another routine rotation, except this time it was to New York. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me!

I loved the openness and freedom of the U.S. so much that when my family moved back to Japan, I stayed. I landed a job at a large bank out of college with my heart filled with excitement and optimism. Everything was fresh, and I felt fearless.

Then came all the grinding in Corporate America, slowly but surely, as I held onto the job day after day, year after year, which eventually stretched out to 16+ years. I had unwittingly become a slave to the job. I was complacent with the comfort and security I had built around myself, and paychecks had long taken over as my master.

It was not until my yoga teacher training I saw the gap between where I was and where I wanted to at least try to be. I noticed my adventurous spirit, long tucked away dormant and unacknowledged. But did I have enough courage and confidence in myself to leave my protective shell and leap into the unknown world? The only barrier was sheer fear.

The most valuable lesson I learned in my yoga teacher training was the philosophy of yoga, including how things like ego, refusal, attachment and fear distort our view (called avidiya in Sanskrit, ancient Indian language). In yoga, all sufferings in the world are said to be caused by not seeing things clearly. My teacher spent days discussing concepts like non-attachment (aparigraha) and compassion (ahimsa). It transformed my view.

In the fall of 2016, after particularly gruesome weeks at work, I resigned from my job to pursue two passions: travel and yoga. There is no telling how my journey will go. But my new definition of success includes failures as potential outcome, so long as I am giving my passion a chance to bloom and living in the present with no internal conflict. After all, if things don’t work out, I can always go back to my old corporate world (right?).

I now accept my physical inflexibility as part of who I am and welcome fear as an inevitable company to excitement. Through my blog, I hope to share my cultural and spiritual journey to come and spread my love of yoga, especially among those that may feel too intimidated to try. Yoga is for everyone, and possibilities are endless if you approach it with an open mind.

Thank you for letting me share my journey with you.

Namaste,

StiffYogi